Resentment.
Jun. 8th, 2011 08:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
allopenstarI am so resentful of my parents pulling me off the trip. Just, I really wanted to be there. Copenhagen, Stockholm, Berlin. I feel like I cannot move on, that this resentment has kept me here. It is so terrible to the point that I can't look at pictures of Berlin. I feel robbed, and that is a terrible thing to be feeling.
I resent being in Singapore. I resent the temperature, the food, the culture. It is so stupid to be resentful of the fact that the majority don't speak German, that I don't feel my German improving everyday I am here. Singapore is a small city, and I feel so trapped right now.
I will get over this. I will get the chance and the opportunity to visit these 3 cities, even if it takes me two trips to get there. It might take some time, but I will get there. Next year, I will be going to the US in June. India or Vancouver in March. Spain or Scandinavia at the end of this year. Okay, maybe I'll have a stopover in Berlin in June.
I am going to the UK for at least 2 years after my degree, Honours or otherwise. And another 2 years after that for my Masters. I have time, plenty of time, to travel.
I think, most of all, I miss the freedom I had there. The freedom to be completely who I am. Because, as usual, if you stop caring or fail to understand, well, I don't bother as well.
Testing waters. How unfortunate they almost always turn out poisonous.
I resent being in Singapore. I resent the temperature, the food, the culture. It is so stupid to be resentful of the fact that the majority don't speak German, that I don't feel my German improving everyday I am here. Singapore is a small city, and I feel so trapped right now.
I will get over this. I will get the chance and the opportunity to visit these 3 cities, even if it takes me two trips to get there. It might take some time, but I will get there. Next year, I will be going to the US in June. India or Vancouver in March. Spain or Scandinavia at the end of this year. Okay, maybe I'll have a stopover in Berlin in June.
I am going to the UK for at least 2 years after my degree, Honours or otherwise. And another 2 years after that for my Masters. I have time, plenty of time, to travel.
I think, most of all, I miss the freedom I had there. The freedom to be completely who I am. Because, as usual, if you stop caring or fail to understand, well, I don't bother as well.
Testing waters. How unfortunate they almost always turn out poisonous.
