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Came across an article on parenting and the difference between Western and Chinese style.
Luckily my parents aren't like that. Thank goodness. My life is drastically different from many of my peers because my dad does not believe that I owe him anything. He taught me that I owe it to myself to be the best I can be. My grades don't affect him, but they affect me. My choices don't affect him, but they affect me.
My dad is the one who said, it doesn't matter what you score, as long as you did your best. We will find a way. He scolds for the lack of effort, but not for scoring badly itself.
P.S: That does not mean that I didn't quarrel with him, though. I fought bitterly with him when I was 16 to keep the balance between school (O'levels) and church commitment. He was angry over my lack of effort in school, and attributed it to my increased level of commitment in church.
So I don't believe I owe my parents anything, but I love them for the way they brought me up. I will provide for them in the future. I feel that they deserve it, even though they may not agree or need it.
It is the same spirit that I wish to instill in my child, in the future.
My dad respected my self-esteem and showed me that I could do it without all the insults and name-calling. I don't believe in the extreme Chinese style of parenting, nor the slack Western style, because my dad has proven that it can be done differently.
It can be done, and I will do it.
Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.I am going to swear.
Luckily my parents aren't like that. Thank goodness. My life is drastically different from many of my peers because my dad does not believe that I owe him anything. He taught me that I owe it to myself to be the best I can be. My grades don't affect him, but they affect me. My choices don't affect him, but they affect me.
My dad is the one who said, it doesn't matter what you score, as long as you did your best. We will find a way. He scolds for the lack of effort, but not for scoring badly itself.
P.S: That does not mean that I didn't quarrel with him, though. I fought bitterly with him when I was 16 to keep the balance between school (O'levels) and church commitment. He was angry over my lack of effort in school, and attributed it to my increased level of commitment in church.
So I don't believe I owe my parents anything, but I love them for the way they brought me up. I will provide for them in the future. I feel that they deserve it, even though they may not agree or need it.
It is the same spirit that I wish to instill in my child, in the future.
My dad respected my self-esteem and showed me that I could do it without all the insults and name-calling. I don't believe in the extreme Chinese style of parenting, nor the slack Western style, because my dad has proven that it can be done differently.
It can be done, and I will do it.
