Random reflective
Feb. 11th, 2012 02:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
allopenstarEvery once in a while, I come to a point where I ask myself, am I enjoying what I am doing, or am I doing for the sake of doing?
I believe that there should be joy in what I am doing, that satisfaction should exist somehow. But the fact is that so much is left hanging right now, that I can't glean satisfaction from it.
NYU, AIC, German tests, 4 projects, individual short essays. Meet ups, hanging out, conversing. Fandom meltdowns, lack of new info.
And I really enjoying what I am learning, or am I simply fighting to be heard? I have no energy to fight anymore. Just, let's go back to the introverted self. I can be thrilled, be high, but I am not happy. Except for those times when certain things happen. Certain things that happen because of the amount of effort put into it, day after day. Also for the small moments in life.
Today, I am too tired. Tomorrow, we'll see how it goes.
I believe that there should be joy in what I am doing, that satisfaction should exist somehow. But the fact is that so much is left hanging right now, that I can't glean satisfaction from it.
NYU, AIC, German tests, 4 projects, individual short essays. Meet ups, hanging out, conversing. Fandom meltdowns, lack of new info.
And I really enjoying what I am learning, or am I simply fighting to be heard? I have no energy to fight anymore. Just, let's go back to the introverted self. I can be thrilled, be high, but I am not happy. Except for those times when certain things happen. Certain things that happen because of the amount of effort put into it, day after day. Also for the small moments in life.
Today, I am too tired. Tomorrow, we'll see how it goes.
